How to Raise a Confident Child

Born with confidence but will it stay? Let’s help our kids keep it {and rock it!}, here are 10  ways to raise a confident child. 

1. Encourage exploration, imagination and experimentation.

Create and allow for opportunity for them to learn on their own and discover their surroundings. Limit screen time so they have to self-entertain and create fun for themselves rather than having a device doing the work for them.

Try to catch yourself if you notice you’re saying “be careful” too often and instead use this list of alternatives to help your child create their own safe boundaries.

2. Limit how often you use the word “no.”

There are times when no is necessary but more often than not rerouting them towards a positive choice works much better while keeping their confidence intact.

3. Stop saying good job.

Wait, what?! Did I read that right? Yes, yes you did. Trust me for a second. Good job is an easy compliment, too easy and that’s the problem. Imagine achieving something huge, like a job promotion and when you told your husband all he did was look up from his laptop and say “good job.” I don’t know about you but I’d be pretty darn upset or confused why he didn’t care more. Your kids achievements, no matter how small, are huge to them and they deserve some attention, more than just a quick “good job.” 

Instead replace good job with specific compliments. “I love how you used so many colors on your picture!” “Wow! How did you learn how to climb that high?” “I’m so impressed! It took a lot of determination to finish that puzzle.”

4. Speak words of affirmation {and be specific}.

Pay attention to their achievement and compliment them specifically. Especially noticing things they didn’t come and tell you about. “I noticed you helped your sister clear the table even though it wasn’t your night. That was very sweet and shows true character, keep it up!”

5. Show them you care about what they are doing.

Get down on their level and treat what they are doing as you would an important task. Ask them questions about what they are doing and why.

6. Teach them how to create goals.

Goals, both short term and long term ones, help create focus and then celebration and pride upon achievement. {Check out this great post on Making a Bucket List with Your Kid to help you get started.} And remember to allow them to dream big.

7. Assign them with age appropriate chores.

Chores allows for a sense of ownership, teach responsibility and ultimately create confidence in who they are as individuals. Assigning chores ahead of time and teaching them self management is your goal here. Some kids will need reminders and directions to begin, especially if chores are new to them. Eventually you want to get to the point where they are self managing, here are some examples of what you can say to help.

• “I’ve noticed you’ve been doing a great job making your bed! What’s your plan for cleaning the toys off the floor?”

• “Don’t forget the kitchen needs to be swept before dinner.”

• “I’d love to watch a movie with you but remember chores have to be done first.”

You know your child best, figure out what works for your family, you can visit our Everything Parenting Pinterest board for more resources like chore sticks, chore bracelets and age appropriate chores.

8. Give them a confidence boost.

Pick one of their bigger goals and create opportunities for it to happen. An example would be if they need extra money for it to happen don’t just hand them a wad of cash, hire them to clean the house or wash the car for x amount of money or help them have a bake sale for the neighbors. With older children and larger goals they may have to do multiple tasks over multiple days to earn enough.

9. Help them become confident communicators.

A great way to help boost confidence in everyday communication is to work on public speaking. Public speaking practice doesn’t have to be done in front of a crowd, it’s more just about practicing talking with a little guidance. Kids’s Activity Blog has 3 awesome public speaking activities that we adore.

10. Have Confidence in Yourself.

You are a good mom, have pride in yourself. Another great commercial, if you have 3 minutes, is the Dove Beauty Sketch commercial. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s worth the watch on how you view yourself (remember this will effect how your kids view themselves).